You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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