I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
