she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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