arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
this beer tastes like vomit already
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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