Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
