If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
