I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We're facebook friends in real life
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
did i just pee glitter
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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