how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
