Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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