real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
