naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
