It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize