this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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