before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
high people should be assigned attendants
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize