$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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