New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
