You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
