I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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