the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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