woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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