No more Irish car bombs ever.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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