Define "chronic" masturbator.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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