I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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