that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
