the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
