Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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