Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
