I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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