i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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