i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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