I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
