Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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