i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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