she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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