You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
