I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
