Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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