Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
