youre lurking in front of me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
