One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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