I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
