I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
