do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
