Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I need to calm my uterus...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
