Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
