We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
