thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
