Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
