How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
