Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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