One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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