He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
