Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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