PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
