its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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