Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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